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Yayee! Every dog will its day!....

Say Something
Sunday, December 29, 2013

Say something please?

Well you know how sometimes when the title of a post bears no relevance at all to the content? (An analogy would be to how the food picture on the store banner sometimes differs totally from the actual food)

Yea, this post is one such example. Blogging used to be IN me. The key word is not "in" but is actually "USED". Suddenly blogging is a chore. (Apologies to the still-avid bloggers, I really don't know of a better word to use). Many things are bound to change in this journey called life..

You know how people always say things like "I used to be so good at this.." or "Back in the days, I was addicted to this" blah blah blah... Well the thing is, there is a reason why Past Tense is being used. Simply put it, the past is gone, and the key is to keep moving forward. Yes. The past is often the best prevention for future mistakes, & often the hardest thing to look past. And for good reason too. Cause our past is essentially what makes us.

Take for example, a full grown adult who turned into a criminal or prisoner is possibly due to a poor up-bringing, coming from a broken family, or just belong to an unfortunate case of the inability to catch up in a merito-CRAZY country.

A rich and successful happy individual had probably grown up in a happy family .. With good parents doing all they can to ensure their child grows and develops to a good person.

Of cause, its not going to be always the case as exceptions/outliers are bound to exist. Moreover, who am I to judge what is happy and what is successful anyway? That itself could spark a decade-long debate.

In the life of b3n ... 28 years of living has too its fair share of ups and downs.
Honestly (and this is indeed a bitter pill to swallow), I often am delusional.

A delusion is a belief held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary (Courtesy of the ever-reliable google search)

I always held a strong belief that I am always right. When sometimes it becomes very apparent that evidence is pointing to the contrary. Am I forever 21? No. Am I really a high flyer in real life? No. Am I at least a firm decision maker, expected of a 28 year old male? No.

But then, if someone were to come to me now and ask if I am a good decision maker, I'd say yes.
If someone were to come to me now and ask if I am going to be a high flyer, I'd again say yes.

Pride/Confident or.. plain Naive/Delusional..

That being said, I might become a good decision maker. I might become a high flyer. It is after-all something I can work towards. (Keyword here is MIGHT) & optimism must come back to me.. I still want it to be my USP.

Y2014 is coming.. And I must make a difference this year. Enough of excuses, enough of delusions. Enough of "Potential". If I had any potiential in me at all, this year is going to be the year I show it. Y2013 was a huge year for me... Having done things and experiencing things I've never thought I'd imagined. To others, traveling overseas with your girlfriend, or supporting your girlfriend in a public performance might be minor. In my life, such are the things which makes me feel like I have a purpose. I have someone special worth living and fighting for. Whatever struggles which needs to be faced, whatever fears that needs to be overcomed... Everyone needs a certain motivation to press on... To continue moving forward... And I must have done a million good deeds in my previous life to have found that motivation.

I am not going to make my new year resolutions for this year public, but the people around me probably knows what kind of resolutions I would make anyway.

To all who came by and read through this post of mine...
Have a happy new year! Cheers and may your life be blessed tgt with your loved ones.

You have no idea how much I love these moments together!

In Retrospect....
Sunday, September 01, 2013

Recently I had been having a lot of negative thoughts...

It's sooo against my usual optimism that I should be having... Well anyway, I am suddenly feeling in control again. Its important to know who you truely are, and stop having stupid delusions about who and what you wish to become. (Though, it doesn't mean that you shouldnt model after a role model to work towards).

At work, I had my fair share of struggles this week. Sometimes feeling unappreciated, sometimes feeling useless, sometimes feeling too dispensable even. All in all though, I felt that it turned out better than it started, so its true that sometimes you got to stick with your guts and move on in order to reach the light at the end of tunnel! o.O

In my personal life, I too had quite a ride. Not gonna speak in riddles, but I guess I should have more confidence in the R/S .. Have more confidence in myself.. & definitely more confidence in you!
I feel that I am really lucky to have someone as talented/gifted/sweet/unique like you... And I would definitely gladly exchange anything in the world for something as special as this love.

In my virtual life (wait do I even have one??), I am practically dead. Died-ed. Gone..
Hahahha, but hopefully I can somehow revive it... Through blogspot, youtube, or whatever. :)

Oh and recently there was also a new addition to my family.. A cat... called Mika~~
She's quite a tamed and domesticated feline. Its really easy to like her and damn difficult to hate a cat like that... Maybe I'l post some pics in the following posts.. So watch this space ya! LOL (Suddenly feel like I'm some crazy kid talking to a group of fake audience) But its ok, cause I do know for sure, that at least one person would read this.. And that would be great enough!

"Gonna start to appreciate and hopefully understand the passion. While I may find it hard to accept certain aspects of it, I truely believe that there's nothing in this world which can't be over-comed (or came) ... Afterall Impossible... Is... nothing!" - BEng. Ng.

Out of the blue!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013

There will come a time in everyone's life when you start to wonder if you are on the right path... Whether you are really walking towards the "great valley" ... & whether its all going to be all worth it. The decisions which were needed to be made coupled with the mistakes which we are all bound to make, will undoubtedly make us a better person as a whole. 

For mine, the story have always been the same. I look up to great people like my dad.(His hardworking humble attitude btw, is far beyond any good traits i can say about myself).. And often wonder why cant i be the same. I studied for a damning 2 decades of my life to get where i am... But its still far from my ideal end point. I feel however, that everything happens for a reason, and i am really starting to be grateful to certain people and things in my life. 
Am i poor ? No. Am i hideous looking? No. Am i handicapped? No. Am i suffering from any chronic illness? No.
On the other hand,
Do i have a decent paying stable job? Yes. Do i have money? Maybe, but definitely improving on that. To add to these, i have an awesome humble family and an amazing darl whom  i am growing to love more with each passing day.

Maybe one day i will be able to match that b3n persona who's so arrogantly successful in everything on the online platform. But till then, i shall learn to treasure the things around me more. Cause my life really isn't bad at all, and i should be super grateful for it.

"Darl darl darl. Really looking forward to your return to Sg on Sat. R&B rocks !"

Back from Taipei ! (:
Monday, June 03, 2013

Taipei Trip (23rd May - 28th May) !

Had an overall great time at Taipei last week. 

Free & Easy trips is definitely very different from package tours. Both have their own set of P & Cs, but for this trip, it was generally quite smooth thanks to Tom/SF. 

*Updated: Ok, I had been drafting out a day-by-day summary of the series of events in Tai Pei... But scrap that. I decided to focus instead on the emotional roller coaster that I had during the 5 days. 

This time round, I am gonna try my best to reflect the real emotions in me. What the heck? This is my blog , my personal space and I REALLY shouldn't be minding about what others think here...  

So Anyhow, here it goes . . . . . .  

The first day couldn't have possibly started any worse than it did. Gawsh!
I know how I am not the most dependable of a person, especially when it comes to handling new situations. I hate very much that I can't be alert and sharp all the time, hate that I have to sometimes depend on others to path the way for me, hate that I can sometimes even be happy to depend on others. 

Like .. Despite all these, it would have been great to know that somebody can accept me and embrace the fact I have other good points in me to make up for the lack of independence, or lack of the confidence to do things independently. The worst is really, to get constantly reminded of it, and having to forcefully try to change into somebody else overnight.

"SOMETIMES I really do wonder if its normal for someone to be still finding himself at my age. For the past 27 years, I have never thought TOO much on my purpose of existence in this world... Or whether or not I have been portraying a good reflection of who I true-ly am inside this mainframe that we come to know of as our 'body'...  
Is the mindset I am so blindly following really the right one? Or just an imagination of how I want myself to behave. Are these strong believes of optimism really from me? Or just nothing but a delusion. I guess I really need answers from above... "

Back to the topic on the first day of the trip, it was really HORRIBAD. It was almost like a explosion waiting to happen. And when it finally did the morning after, things just got ugly. Kept telling myself to control myself, keep things cool but WE just couldn't. Even though I mentioned earlier on that I would not hold back here, but I'd still choose to keep those private (Sorry!)...  


In any case, we did gradually resolved our difference after some nasty confrontation, and did went on enjoy each others' company for most of the remaining part of the trip. The reconciliation process was really difficult on the both of us... Very demeaning terms were exchanged, and at some point I was made to feel as worthless as thrash. Everything must have happened for a reason, I must take comfort in that there is room for me to be improved as a person. Maybe one day, I will be perfect. (or closer to perfect)
Despite it all, if I had to choose again, I'd not have it any other way...

OK, now, here's the very quick (&shortened) summary of the Taipei Trip!

Day 1 : 
- Taoyuan Airport, some Mafia looking dude welcomed us in a rather... Mafia-welcoming manner.. LOL. 
- Crazy Driving en route to JUST SLEEP hotel
- Mee Sua at Ximen Ding!

Day 2 : 
- The famed Taipei 101 ! Always heard friends talking about this tower attraction, and I finally got to see it for myself. It was rather 'expected' luh, but still fun! Just looking out at the towering view while spamming photograph can be enjoyable too lol.
- Rao He Night Market. Till today i can't figure out the correct han yu pin yin for Rao He, but I guess it's not really THE POINT anyway. That night market was reallllly crowded. Just imagine the crowd in Orchard Road on Christmas Eve or Chinatown on CNY Eve... It was just that bad.

Day 3 : 
- CKS Memorial Hall! Interesting change of parade that we managed to catch during our short visit to the memorial hall. Quite a sight to behold!
- Dou Jiang + You Tiao, at some really crowded coffee shop. Was so-so, but had to convince myself it tasted special cause we queued super long for it.
- Shi Dan. Long Shan. More night markets! Yesss~

Day 4:
- Managed the secure the services of a driver, Xiao Jie, to bring us up the mountainous area!
- Yeh Liu Geopark: Interesting rock sculpture ... Most of which required a really creative sense of imagination to picture~
- Jiu Fen / Shi Fen : Nice Sun Cakes, Pineapple Cakes, at the cost of braving through a crazily super-packed tourist crowd. Shi Fen was where we released the Kong Ming lanterns! IMO, it was really the highlight of the trip, cause everyone felt really happy.
- Shih Lin Night Market: Ahhh, the famous Shih Lin night market. Was a pretty good night market. We did most of our shopping here, and the Cheese Potato probably left the deepest impression on me!

Day 5:
- Ximending area for our final lunch in Taipei... Remembered this really good drip coffee that only cost 85 NT.. (less than $4 SGD)...
- Back to Taoyuan Airport -> SINGAPORE!

Pictures Time:
At Yeh Liu Geo Park~

Rao He Night Market!

Good Blessings 1/4
Good Blessings 2/4
Good Blessings 3/4
Good Blessings 4/4
Huaaaat ar!

My Sunshine, my love
Tuesday, March 26, 2013

This post is dedicated solely,
To the only person who still follows the blog dedicatedly..
My one and only love of my life.

The past few days/weeks was tough, and really painful. The good thing is, we are over the bad times and there's always light at the end of a tunnel. You, my darl, are the light of my tunnel, the only sunshine in the world.

"Oh Lord, please don't ever take my sunshine away." - BEng

Christmas 2012!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Xmas 2012!!!! :)

SORRY for the recent lack of updates! (I know I almost apologize for the same thing on every post, but IDC cos I still feel a need to say it ! haha) ...

Well so apparently the whole 2012/End of Mayan Calendar thingy turns out to be nothing but a hoax and.... Guess what? Its the Christmas period again!!

On the eve of Christmas, my parents and Wilson + Janice all came back from from their respective trips in time for our family gift exchange! *thumbs up*

On Christmas iteself, Darl, Tom, Shufen and Weiyi also came over for a mini Christmas gathering~ Thanks for making it for the gathering! The roasted chicken, sausages and ham (aka luncheon meat) was pretty neat albeit a little salty .. lolol.

The Xbox and cards-playing session were nothing less of fun..
The food as mentioned was nice.. And the company was great!
(Thanks Darl for coming over despite your fever ! C: It made my Christmas that much merrier!!)

Thanks Shufen for the collage!
Xmas tree by the day..... and

the same Xmas tree by night!

And how can a Christmas ever be complete without Darl :)

Back from the Cruise!
Saturday, November 10, 2012

Back from the Cruise!! (:

So I'm back ! Been a rather surreal 2-3 days onboard the cruise.
Why ? You may ask...

Was it the immense size of the ship?  
Nah.. Not exactly.
Was it the great variety of activities on board?
In fact, I was a lil disappointed on this aspect.
Was it then the majestic-ness feel of the palace in the sea?
It was decent but didn't exactly blow me away..

Alright.. So it had to be... The company! Exactly one year ago, the same 4 of us went to USS Singapore and had a blast of a time.. A year later, it just got another notch higher! :)

Here are some of the pics!

Romeo and Juliet dining room..  Here was where we dined at!

Lol! Interesting portrait at the back... o.O

There's something about the lightning
which makes the pics look so..orangy? haha

Love alot of things about this pic. (: Love ya!

"Its been a great one year! Looking forward to many many more to come... "